Back to life
by Zanteh
Summary: AU: After the death of his parents, Ludwig has become a working machine whose only purpose is caring for his brother. One day, he meets an Italian manager he grows fond of in no time. Has the time finally come for him to gain back his life?
1. Chapter 1

Sunny mornings carry a particular smell, a freshness and joy other mornings lack. The peachy sky still keeps some of the grey of the night within itself and everything is lit and childish. Sunny mornings are full of innocence, no matter what bed you wake up in.

The white blankets were draped by his sides, his body was rocking and hunching, the shadows falling here and there among his toned muscles creating sensuous arabesques. A valiant soldier, the scars of many fights already opaque on his pearly skin. A honest friend, a good brother. On the night-table, photographs mirrored sunrays, pouring rainbows on his chest. Now open, his eyes were lost in the dash of golden sprayed all over the room. "Guten Tag." He thought to himself.

**Back to Life**

"Guten Tag! Slept well?" Ludwig greeted his brother as soon as he limped into the kitchen. "Kaffee.." was the answer. And when isn't coffee the answer? Ludwig served the two of them two good cups of coffee, both had the right amount of sugar, both were equally nice and friendly welcomed. There was Schwarzbrot on the table, along with other types of bread Ludwig had bought the day before. Marmelade, jam, Nutella and honey were also present, along with salami, ham and some sausages. Butter was hidden behind the fruits and Gilbert was so very relieved that there was still some.

While he was still trying to recollect himself and connect his body to his brain, Ludwig skimmed through the pages of the newspaper, munching on a large piece of bread, casually sipping on his coffee from time to time and occasionally glancing at the red round clock hanging on the wall. It was such a nice day! Lately, his boss had nominated him head of the new Insurance Assistance Programme and in the early afternoon a meeting was scheduled to meet his first customers. He just couldn't wait!

Gilbert tried to offer some decent conversation, but he resumed to offer just a few smiles and encouraging words. "Yes, you can!" He shouted behind his back, as Ludwig had disappeared to go and make himself ready. He was so very happy for his brother. After the death of their parents, Ludwig had poured himself fully into his job. Now he was finally getting rewarded. He felt guilty, Gilbert hadn't done much for him. The sudden loss turned him out of the bad company of acid-heads he had ended up with, sure. But sometimes, when the abstinence hammered his head so hard, so hard that he was not sure he would make it, Ludwig was there. He had always been there. Ludwig was the pilaster of his life, the column his temple was built on. Gilbert loved and respected his brother, but he couldn't stop feeling guilty for being so weak. He knew it was wrong: Now he was almost fully recovered, this really mattered. Still, as older brother, he felt he had failed somehow. And even though he knew he was looking for his attention in the worst way, he couldn't help behaving like a child around his "Little Bro". His mind was still wandering when Ludwig walked out waving his hand at him. Gilbert raised his glove, soapy water rolling down to his sleeve, leaving a few traces on the fabric before he went back to washing the dishes. It was an important day for Lutz. He might as well do the chores.

Ludwig's morning was spent between his demanding boss and the presentation of the Programme before the official reunion and reading the CVs and articles published by the Sirs and Madams who would attend it. His boss also mentioned the possibility of having lunch with some of them and the probability another gentleman would join, a certain Vargas. His presence was confirmed only at the very last minute, when it was too late to hunt for any relevant information about him. As he had read all the curricola but Mr Vargas', Ludwig offered to meet him in person and treat him for lunch. He wanted to know as much as he could of his guests beforehand in order to study what strategy would be the best to satisfy each one of them. After the call, his secretary described him as excessively flirty and sweet, nothing she would expect from a businessman. "Italians!" Averting her eyes whilst she stomped out, she didn't notice the slight concern on Ludwig's face. He was sure most people at the meeting would be German doctors and enterpreneurs, why was he interested in their policies? He was still trying to reason out why this "Mr Vargas" wanted to join the meeting when he packed his suitcase, wore his jacket and left the office.

There was something about the man waiting for him at the entrance of the restaurant that Ludwig mistook for expectancy to know him. Yet, it was something more than this, as he recognised himself greeting with a louder and eager voice as he had never heard spilling out of his throat. He was happy to meet him, this trim elegant Italian man who claimed to work for some French company whose name Ludwig failed to understand. Happy.. Ludwig just found himself simpering, confused yet amused by his foreign need to "talk with his hands". He ordered the same as he, completely ignoring the menu itself just to peek at him between the plastic pages. It came naturally: they chatted pleasantly and laughed at a few jokes. Feliciano was a delightful company and even though he happened to blab at such a high volume that he had to warn him to lower his voice, Ludwig enjoyed every minute of their lunch together.

Later, they walked together to the meeting, which went surprisingly well. The customers appeared to be very satisfied with the Programme and promised to contact the company as soon as possible to sign the contracts. Many walked up to Ludwig to congratulate on his splendid presentation, leaving their e-mail addresses and asking to receive a copy with all the options. Being they all gone, silence fell in the room, camera music playing in the background, pride gnawing at Ludwig's skin. Everything went alright! Ah, the joy made him dizzy! And it was only when he thought everybody had left that a slow clapping came from the other side of the office, where Feliciano had been sitting all the time.

"Wonderful, Mr. Beilschmidt. Absolutely astounding." He chirped, tilting his head side to side. He seemed very amused and his teeth showing between the two deep pink waves of his mouth gave him a lightly creepy look.

"Mr. Vargas- I thought you had left. Is there anything I may help you with?"

"Of course there is, Mr Beilschmidt. I demand we celebrate together! May I invite you for dinner?" His voice tingled in the room like golden coins dropping on Ludwig's head like heavy rain. Feliciano was standing now, lurking towards him like a snake on hot sand. The rays of the early sunset showered his body in orange and red, his round nutty eyes shining as precious Florentian silk on a Carnival's dress. His red-brown hair was now a sea of crimson and black velvet, curls rocking back and forth as he tip-toed to him. Under his locks, his child-like face hid the shadows of his long thin eyebrows, his round nose and the sensual fold of his rose lips. Ludwig's hand moved to the closest bottle of water, for his mouth was suddenly dry.

He chugged down half before replying. "I would love to keep you company, Mr. Vargas-"

"Feliciano, please."

"Ja, uhm- Feliciano." He coughed lightly. "I need to collect my documents and call my boss, though, to inform him of today's success."

"I bet he can't wait to praise you!"

"And my brother. We live together, he will be upset if I'm not back for dinner.."

"What's with brothers, I say? Also mine still thinks of himself as the Man of the House, when he can barely take care of himself! But please, do make your calls!"

"You live with your brother? I see- Oh, my boss is calling, will you excuse me.." Ludwig rushed to the corner, quietly answered all his boss' questions breathing calmly through the hundred compliments he was paid. He could hear Feliciano ranting on the phone, too, first in something which sounded like very posh French and then a second time in more enthusiastic Italian. He was dialling his brother's number when he overheard his name among Feliciano's stream of words. When he turned, he caught him glancing with a silly smile on him face, but he couldn't get a thing of the conceited speech he was carrying on. God, did he have to gesture also when no-one was looking? But Gilbert was boasting on the other side of the receiver, he could not inquire for the time being. Gilbert sounded way too pleased to know his Little Bro was going out, but kept making stupid assumptions as to how tall and old the girl was and where he was taking her for their first date. He also confessed to be very glad his Lutz had called him to listen to his advice, to which Ludwig remarked with a "This is not our first date, but thank you anyway". He then sent a "I'm sorry, but you were exaggerating. It's not a date, though." as soon as remorse stung his conscience.

"I heard you mentioned my name.." Ludwig admitted once they were sitting at the restaurant. They had exchanged a few more words about their jobs and how they ended up in managerial positions and about their families: Gilbert's old heroin problem and Romano's gambling addiction. Ludwig said nothing about his parents and Feliciano did not ask further. On his behalf, he narrated how he and his brother were brought up by a single father too in love with the fair sex to choose a woman only. "Grampa was the best! He loved alcohol, he loved women, he had to spend some nights in jail because he also loved fighting – but he was awesome, I'm telling you. Best Grampa in the world." Grampa, because he was so wise and talented that to be like him you'd have to live a millennium and more, had explained Feliciano. He looked so ecstatic, Ludwig couldn't contain a smile.

"When we were in the office, you mean? Yes, I phoned my brother and told him about our lunch and afternoon together. He'd claim that the Germans are cannibals and could eat me alive if this was enough to keep me home. And he was worried of what kind of poison you'd serve me here, of course.. He's so narrow-minded.. He should really travel more."

Ludwig thought of Gilbert. "Yes, also my brother makes some snarky remarks from time to time. He just can't accept that people are different from him, he only sees himself and his own pain... Which is terrible, he's missing so much with that attitude of his. He was excessively excited to hear I was going out, too, assuming this would be a date with some futile girl..."

"I see.. I would add that it is very unlikely for a man like you not to have a woman, but maybe it's just me.." His attention drawn to cutting down his steak, Ludwig didn't catch the glimpse in his eyes. Feliciano's toes tangled in his leather shoes and breath couldn't escaped his lungs as his host replied swallowing his wine.

"Is it really so weird?" Ludwig replied, his eyebrows raising in frustration. He was sick of that question. He inhaled a good mouthful of air and continued. "The relationships I started never seemed to last long – and they didn't. Why would a woman pair up with me, I often wonder.."

"Because you're handsome?"

Ludwig blinked, weighing both the reply and the alluring gaze Feliciano was giving him. "I believe a woman would need something more than my muscles."

Feliciano's mouth opened in a smile as he kept playing with one of the baby carrots in his plate. "You're honest, though. You're brilliant. Bright, professional, hard-working. You're good. There is no malice in your eyes and it's a pleasure to be in your company." His eyes sloppily roamed along Ludwig's body before wearing their savviest dress. "I believe you are also good in bed."

He hadn't finished yet that Ludwig was already replenishing his wine glass. The sun was dying behind the buildings, but he still felt its torrid fingers on his cheeks. _How much did I drink?_ He wondered, but he chugged another mouthful still. His body welcomed the newly introduced alcohol and stored it in his belly, sending a percentage to his head. _Cheap alcohol will kill you_, his father used to say. And his lucid eyes confirmed that daddy was surely right. "There are lovers worse than I, I suppose."

Feliciano's amusement seemed to know no boundaries, with his stare he clearly wanted to pierce through his skin, almost violate him. Ludwig felt oddly threatened and embarrassed by those two darkish ponds wandering on the features of his face, too terribly close and enticing. Sipping the last drops of wine from his glass, he questioned himself on whether his guest was biting his bottom lip or not – and why he hoped he would. "Maybe you haven't found the right.. partner yet."

"Clearly, someone else.. Someone else would be best for me. But what about you? No woman in your life?" _Yes, Ludwig. Change topic. Good job._

Feliciano rolled the glass in his hand, wine bathing the transparent surface. "There used to be, but now no more. I'm happily divorced." And he drank. Ludwig tried to mutter out an awkward "Sorry", but Feliciano went on without paying him any attention. "I made a terrible mistake, fortunately it didn't last long. She married anew and I had other.. lovers. Nothing serious, though."

Ludwig didn't feel like asking further, therefore they both stayed silent till the dessert was served. Munching on the last bite, Feliciano gained enough courage to inquire about Ludwig's parents. Quite reluctantly, he told how his parents, both bankers, had been shot by a robber some years before. How his brother was so shocked he immediately went into treatment, how he had to take care of both, how they had to sell their house and move into a smaller one. This till a certain point, where warm salty tears streamed down his face and he started chocking on his own words. When he asked for permission to leave for the bathroom to go and recollect himself, Feliciano's arms wrapped around his body, slim but comforting. "Hey, I'm here. Don't worry, I'm here. It's okay to cry. It's okay, really. Wait here now, will you? I'll pay the bill and we'll leave, but do not leave without me. I'm buying you a beer, Lutz. We both need a beer."

And so he did. He paid the bill, grabbed their jackets and suitcases and dragged him out by the hand. They entered a shop and bought three beers, walked out and looked for a spot where to sit, alone. Feliciano opened two, offering the first to his friend, and sat, his hand on Ludwig's knee, occasionally rubbing his palm on the fabric or moving to touch his shoulder and elbow, but never further. The last beer, they shared. The stillness of those moments together, spent drinking beer while cars speeded before them, everything about his hand stroking his knee encouragingly felt strangely intimate. Ludwig found himself tasting the brim of the shared bottle, savouring the glass as if he could taste the other's mouth. But these thoughts were kept for himself, along with the awkwardness they produced. Conversely, they drank silently till Ludwig felt better, enough to give a nod as a thank you. He was considering the idea of inviting Feliciano to his house, but the beer was gone by then as so was the braveness, they therefore stood up and moved to reach the hotel where he would be staying instead.

Feliciano asked for his key and paid for the room, but when it was time to part he offered Ludwig to stay for a while and rest. No matter what Ludwig said, he insisted to the point of forcing him to come upstairs. They entered the room, a clean sumptuous hotel room all ebony, silver and golden.

"God, I love this bed!" Said Feliciano as he jumped and bounced on the bed twice. Ludwig sat next to him and agreed: the bed could scream how comfortable it was and advertise itself. As he splashed on the mattress, his body sank into that square bubble of comfort and feathers. His hand percieved they were now touching, but didn't move. He was glad he had accepted the offer, for those few moments spent savouring the freshness of the blankets one beside the other were the perfect crown for such an eventful and successful day.

"Say, Feliciano. Why didn't it work out? With your ex-es, I mean." He casually asked, breaking the magic of silence between us. _Why was I thinking of such thing?_ He wondered, realising that the question hadn't escaped his mind since supper. Feliciano looked at him and, still pondering, grabbed a pillow to hug.

"It's- Well, I don't like formalities, let's put it this way." Ludwig considered the answer, but admitted not quite understanding his point. Feliciano shrugged it off with a simple "we wanted different things". Having stood up, Feliciano went to the bathroom. There, he splashed his face with some cold water running from the shower before calling. "Ve', Lutz.. why don't you stay for the night?"

Ludwig was already half-asleep but a rebellion was breaking in his head, which drove him to the simplest answer: "I wouldn't mind, really. But only if you're alright with that.". Not that he was afraid of taking a cab or fighting some idiot with the wrong idea in mind, he just believed both the bed and the company to be so incredibly endearing that it would be no harm if he indulged in this just a night. There were clean clothes in his suitcase under his documents, "in case of emergency" he justified, as well as his toothbrush and toothpaste in a neat package, along with a comb and tissues. The battery of his phone would still last a whole day, but just to make sure it wouldn't run out he closed WhatsApp and other energy-sucking services after texting a short "Spending the night out. Don't wait for me" to his brother. He had just started untying his shoe-laces when Feliciano came out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist, his body roughly dried from the quick shower. Pearls of water rolled down his tanned shoulders from his hair, dark as a humid oak forest in winter. His structure seemed weak, but the dim light of the lamp revealed lean muscles previously hidden under the fabric of his shirt. From his suitcase, he retrieved some underwear and a shirt. His towel fallen from his hips, he jumped in the black pair of boxers and hopped on the mattress, wearing the shirt in one swift motion. "I left my clothes on a stool in the bathroom, move them aside in case you need it." he stated whilst dragging the suitcase closer, fishing for his charger and plugging it in the plug-converter before connecting it to three holes above his night-table. He then proceeded to charge his mobile and move to rest his head on the pillow with his phone in his lap, all under Ludwig's enchanted eyes. He was naturally beautiful, the spontaneity and elegance of his movements, his thin fingers stained with ink marks tip-tapping on the screen, the curious frown he directed to him, everything about him attracted Ludwig like honey a bear.

Ludwig shook the fantasy out of his head, clenching his suitcase and heading quickly to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He considered taking a cold shower and so he did, it felt great afterwards even if he was trembling. The frosty water had spiked through his skin, digging down into his spine. This had relieved him of the plummeting headache and, to his great surprise, of the previous indecent waves of arousal. _Alcohol is playing tricks on me._ he thought to himself as he eyed the manly figure in the mirror. Training at the gym and hard-working kept his sexual needs down on a minimum, but also drowned and fought his memories in sweat. Gilbert often feared he would collapse, but Ludwig had no ears for such nonsense. He had to keep lucid, he had to keep working. He had to keep his head up straight and resist.

He realised he could either wear his shirt and buy another on the following day or had to sleep in his underwear not to crumple it, but he decided upon the first option and went back to the bedroom. "Ve', Lutz. Somebody called you." was the greeting he received. Feliciano finished a text and clicked to silence his phone before placing his mobile nearby. He was under the covers, face turning to follow him as Ludwig reached him under those same warm blankets, starting his own mobile once seated to notice Gilbert had been calling insistently.

"Just my brother.." He said sighing, a hint of concern and surprise as he found Feliciano's cunning face studying his features from a very short distance.

"I hope everything's alright.." With head sloppily inclined to the side, the light painted sensual lakes of yellow and orange on his flushed cheeks, charging his lips with a deep hue of bordeaux-red as if wine could spill from his mouth and river down his Antique-pink body. His amber eyes glimmered and glistened, revealing sharp blades of golden swimming in his liquid irises.

Ludwig desperately gasped and sucked air to replenish his lungs. He could feel the oxygen scratching his nostrils for how fast he inhaled and his voice quivering, too high-pitched and slurring. "He's just not used to me sleeping outdoors." He tried to be evasive, but behind those dreamy hazel eyes he could feel the predatory hungry stare munching the borders of his frame. He swallowed, his mind soaked in confusion, swirling from an odd feeling of being a prey to liking it.

"You don't look like a kid, though.. These are not the eyes of a kid." Feliciano gushily purred, tapping Ludwig's nose with his finger. "Tell me.. Is this Gilbert really your brother, Lutz?"

"What would you mean? Of course he is my brother!"

Ludwig looked offended by the remark, but Feliciano's smile just seemed to widen and become more voluptuous as he leaned to rest his chin on Ludwig's pillow. "I'm glad to know." He softly replied, his blushing cheek now on his forearm. A small sigh and with a swift motion he was hovering above his head, pressing his lips against his forehead. "Goodnight, Lutz." he said in a breath and went back to his place, curling himself up like a cat after a good meal.

Ludwig just eyed him blankly, the confusion in himself turning in a veritable mess. "Glad"? He wanted to ask. Why "glad"? And the kiss did nothing but leave him at loss of words. His pupils wandered from side to side all around the room, but constantly going back to the man sleeping next to him. "Goodnight.." He ended up whispering, muttering to himself that this was all alcohol's fault. Yes, all alcohol's fault.

* * *

End of Chapter 1

Ludwig Beilschmidt, Feliciano Vargas and all the other characters belong to Himaruya and Hetalia.  
I call dibs on the plot.  
The Author decided to have them speak in English even though she speaks both Italian and German. It's easier this way: you don't have to constantly look for the bloody translation.  
Of course she partially regrets her choice. Ludwig saying "Hast du gut verschlafen?" is one of her guilty pleasures.  
Hopefully, you enjoyed. Hopefully, I'll keep on writing.  
Ciao!


	2. Face your fears

**Change your attitude and face your fears**

When Ludwig woke up, he froze on the spot in finding Feliciano's limbs wrapped around his body, one of his legs intertwined right around his thigh, threateningly close to his glorious morning erection. His gasp reduced to silence, still not breathing he tried to move his arm away from the other's grasp. Unfortunately, the only reaction was having Feliciano nuzzling his cheek against his shoulder. He then lightly elbowed under his ribcage, trying to discomfort him to the point he would move aside, but Feliciano just ran his fingers down his forearm to clench his wrist and mewl annoyingly as reply. Shifting to the edge of the mattress or rolling to the side caused Feliciano to nestle even closer, his knee now bended to touch Ludwig's left leg.

He therefore stretched his arm out to reach for his phone: it was about time to wake him up. Awkward as it was, Ludwig resolved to calling him. A single whisper wasn't enough, though, and the more his voice got loud, the more his face wrinkled in a grimace. His fingers went from tapping his arm to veritably shaking him, till Feliciano sucked in a deep bothered breath.

"Smettila..." He moaned in shooing his hand away. His back-bones muttered low cracks as he stretched his neck and placed his arm on the other side of Ludwig's face, balancing his body to hover above him. His face crumpled numerous kaleidoscopic expressions before settling for a mild, sweet smile. He hadn't opened his eyes yet.

Ludwig kept still as he fell on his chest and yawned, kept still even when Feliciano started twisting and rocking like a cat. When his alarm started playing, he stopped with an "Oddio no.." to rest his forehead on his torso for a few moments before rolling to grab his mobile and silence it. That was the last sign of vitality from him, because he immediately fell dead on the pillow much to Ludwig's preoccupation.

_The fuck shall I do now. _From the very first moment that morning, this thought had been the only in his mind and it didn't seem it would leave him any time , he asked "Feli...? Feliciano?"

A low, sustained, mournful cry came from his side. Feliciano wearily turned to face him, his face a mosaic of pain. "It's morning..." he tiredly moaned. Ludwig, as empathetic as he felt, couldn't but laugh at how pathetic he was while he was rubbing his forearms against his face in a desperate attempt to both keep the sunlight out and friction his sluggishness away. His arms dropped to the mattress, with his eyes to the ceiling he prayed God to help him.

Ludwig assisted to this morning ritual like an archeologist reading a hieroglyphic for the first time, with the same wonder and doubtful amusement mixed together. "Guten Tag." he gladly replied.

"Buongiorno!" Feliciano promptly responded, his eyes and voice clearly affirming how lost and bewildered he felt. He dragged in a mouthful of air and stated. "I hate mornings."

"I didn't notice!" Ludwig replied jokingly, his feet already on the floor and about to move to the bathroom. "Please, don't leave me here." Feliciano begged as he left him alone to enter the restroom. "I won't take long!" Ludwig find himself reassuring as he reached the sink. Oddly enough, his reflection in the mirror looked more cheerful than ever.

When they were both ready and sitting on the bed, Feliciano however still lacing his shoes, Ludwig felt the need to bring up the weird position he found them tangled in. "Say, Feli... You were clinging to me this morning.."

"Was I what?"

Having caught his attention, Ludwig couldn't go back, so he coughed and resignedly admitted. "Clinging. Like, you were hugging me. Ya know, your arms round my arm and all? It was weird, you were asleep and.. "

Feliciano's eyebrows arose before crippling in a confused frown. "Oh, I didn't.. Did I? Gosh, I'm so sorry.."

"No problem, it was just awkward! Well, very awkward! For real, I didn't even manage to wake you up and I was worried you might get the wrong idea if you found us like that.."

Feliciano scoffed shaking his head. "Don't be so dumb, I'd never take advantage of a drunk man!"

"Well, that's because you'd ever take a man!" When Ludwig turned to laugh with him at his joke, the embarrassed face his glance met wasn't exactly what he expected. "...Right?"

Feliciano eyed him carefully before directing his stare to the floor, where it lingered a few seconds. "I think we have to go." He fast stated as he stood up, grabbed his suitcase and phone and headed to the door. This unexpected rush made Ludwig grew worried, but all his questions were quickly silenced as he had to clench his own suitcase and run after him, already dashing to the stairs.

"There's the elevator!" he cried, but Feliciano wasn't paying him any attention, he therefore recklessly ran down to get closer to him and when he was just a few steps away, he grabbed his shoulder and puzzled, asked: "Feli, what's wrong?"

Feliciano lengthily stared into his eyes with shame and regret. Grief dropped from his words when he asked. "Can't you really figure it out yourself?"

_The fuck shall I do now. _Was hammering in Ludwig's mind once again.

"Oh God! I slept with a fag!" Ludwig screeched in jumping backwards, his eyes glimmering with horror and repulsion.

"Oh God, what shall I do now? Wash my body with ammonia and sterilize my ass? As if I'd laid a single finger on you!" Rage spilled from every pore.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ludwig shouted, more confused than angry, still shocked and baffled. Every word offended Feliciano more and more. "I even had dinner with you! Were you trying to hit on me or..."

"Oh, yes! Yes, of course, Herr Beilschmidt! 'Cause the first thing coming to my mind when I enjoy some buff guy's company is luring him into a life of sin and gay sex!" Feliciano sounded more and more furious and frustrated, his fists closed and ready to blow, knuckles whitening as his face reddened.

"Well, I didn't mean.."

"Of course you did! Or tell me, why d'you have that disgusted look on your face? I'm no rapist, Beilschmidt, so take that off!"

The louder Feliciano roared, the quieter Ludwig became. It was the first time he had faced such a situation and he had no idea of how to cope with it. Their eyes never lost contact, but his vision was still blurred. He could hear Feliciano gritting his teeth, but the noise didn't make it past the _Get a hold of yourself, Beilschmidt. You're no less than the man you were before. _"Listen, I'm sorry I insulted you, I yet admit now wondering why you wanted me to stay last night."

Noticing the wrath and accusation were now almost gone, Feliciano partially calmed down, still maintaining his guard high. This only lightly hindered his voice to come out almost mellow as usual. "You were drunk, that's why. And I actually wanted to chat with you in the morning, too, possibly in front of a nice breakfast. Coffee, mostly. I need three cups at least. My plane will take off in the afternoon, I told you, so this is likely to be our last meal together. I hoped it'd go more smoothly than this.."

His disheartened confession made Ludwig feel way more relieved, yet guilty: He had no right to shout at him, he had done nothing at all! However, he wasn't completely sure Feliciano had no interest in him, let alone the sentiment of violation and horror the image of him rubbing against his body now sent. "I see.. But may I ask why you ran away like that after my question?"

Feliciano's orbs buzzed around the room like bees before he could form a reply. "I was afraid you would punch me, so I ran."

Ludwig didn't even ponder the answer too long. Whatever he could've given, he would've not believed it the least – and he would've been appalled, possibly more than he was now, and horrified. From what they had told each other on the day before, Ludwig also remembered something about him being bullied as a kid and this was enough to him to explain Feli's insane behaviour. He had just reacted the only way he knew: by fleeing. Ludwig then sighed and approached his friend. "Let's get that coffee, shall we?"

They kept silent while walking to the coffee-shop, both caught in their own thoughts. Ludwig's mind processed the previous day and night, analyzing every detail, now seen under a new perspective. He confronted the impressions he had of his companion with the new image he had of him, revealing new shades he had not taken into account. What he considered to be part of his cultural manners was now scrutinized and judged as excessively flamboyant. The whole, perceived as positive and nice till an hour before, was now unacceptable. This, till Ludwig turned to see Feli drinking from his coffee cup, occasionally nibbling his croissant. That was still the man of the day before. The man who offered to meet before the reunion, his customer who stayed in late to invite him out and buy him dinner, who comforted and offered him to stay for the night – only because he was drunk and could get in trouble. Did it really matter if he preferred trousers or skirts? He was still the friendly mate of the day before! _But you look at him and all you see are your prejudices_.

"I think I owe you my apologies." He stated, sipping his coffee now colder. "I just.. gave my fears a face and that was yours."

"It's okay, Lutz." Feliciano was simpering at him now, some crumbles and sugar left on the sides of his mouth. "I also overreacted." The silence between them lasted a few more sips, before Feliciano spoke dreamily again. "I should've lied to you. We'd still be friends."

Ludwig glanced at him before elbowing him lightly. "Aren't we?"

Feliciano frowned perplexedly. "I believed to understand you wanted me around no more. What with having your fears' face and all..."

_That's right, Feli. But big or small, fears should be tackled. _Ludwig's expression was sweeter, now, but still tough and stiff. Yet, the absence of hatred was immensely delighting. "You're not so menacing, you know?" He friendly mocked.

Feliciano laughed. "I may not look like a threat, but you were still dismayed to learn there was a remote possibility I like you!"

Wearing his most joking yet scary smile, Ludwig's fake high-pitched voice not-so-seductively remarked. "Why, don't you?"

"You'd never let me show how much." Feli purred, scratching his arm playfully. They both cackled, Ludwig unsuccessfully trying to suppress his mirth into a chortle whereas Feli cheerfully flizzened. Glee flourished and blossomed in every joke they spurted out, turning Ludwig's first total annoyance and intolerance to guffaws. He was still intimidated by the likelihood he would end up in an unwanted flirt, but as time went by he found more and more reasons to keep in touch with that quirky Italian guy.

After breakfast, they stepped together into a shop, where Ludwig would buy a new shirt. He made some dumb comments on how a gay Italian would be the best choice when it came to fashion advice, but Feli cut it with "I'm alright with everything but Hawaiian shirts, socks-and-sandals and wearing more than three colours but at Carnival." Ludwig remarked on how good he would look in a pink dress and Feli snarled that tight skirts didn't fit him for '_obvious reasons_'. Ludwig felt slightly bothered, but fortunately Feli couldn't see through the curtains of the dressing room. He himself asserted that a Bavarian waitress costume would be a problem, but he would never be drunk enough to actually put it on. Feli bet he would and Ludwig accepted the challenge.

Having chosen a black shirt, they marched to the building where Ludwig worked. Feliciano checked his phone to make sure he was on time to catch his flight, Ludwig, having piled all his documents previously, was expected to show up later that day for a summary of the meeting. Nothing that would happen before 10.00 AM, since a Japanese delegation had come to talk to his boss in the early morning and he didn't really have much work left. They had swapped phone numbers already, being them printed on their cards – Feliciano still asked if it was alright for him to text and call from time to time. Ludwig couldn't remember the last time he had talked on the phone about something unrelated to his job, but agreeing, he let Feli ignorant of this detail.

"Well, then. Time to go!" Feliciano beamed in approaching to touch his shoulders. Thinking he was asking for a kiss, Ludwig leaned in, offering his cheek. Feli pecked it, admitting that it is not so usual for males to kiss – only good friends do nowadays. He yet added they would probably become such. "You should totally come over to my place sometimes, maybe this summer! You can ask your brother to come, too, even though I'd prefer to be alone with you." The last bit was supposed to be seductive, but actually finished in a keak.

Ludwig joined in his chuckling, appearing quite thrilled by the idea. "I'd love to! Gil is an albino, though, and I'm not sure he'd move his lazy ass away from the couch to get sunburnt. But we should totally arrange something! I'd hate to miss the chance to visit your place!"

And so they waved each other goodbye, Feliciano from the backseat of a cab and Ludwig walking back to his office with a smile on his face. Oddly enough, his collegues kept asking if he had gotten laid.

* * *

End Ch.2

Reviews are appreciated!

**Foreign Lan./English** (I couldn't resist, mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa):

"Smettila!" = Stop it  
Buongiorno/Guten Tag = Good morning  
Mea culpa = My fault


End file.
